Posted on: October 17, 2008

Be A Kid Again

Maybe we did learn everything we need to know in kindergarten. Unfortunately we forgot all of those things...

By Jeff Schnaufer
CTW Features

Feeling a little fussy? Now that kids have been back in the school saddle for a several weeks, adults may find that brushing up on some of those lessons from kindergarten and elementary teachers might just improve their lives at work and home.

"As adults, we should be better at sharing, at cleaning up our own mess, at saying your sorry. But as adults we sometimes forget these lessons and constantly need to find ways to remember them," says child and adolescent psychologist D'Arcy Lyness, PhD, medical editor for KidsHealth.org.

Get back to the basics with some friendly reminders from Lyness and other early childhood experts who offer their own for tips to improve your life, at any age:

Say You're Sorry

"In my classroom, when someone was upset about someone else's behavior, I would put those two kids together and they would talk about it," recalls Carol Nicoli, president of the California Kindergarten Association, Roseville, Calif. "I would make them shake hands. And if they did something to hurt the other, they would say I'm sorry. I think the fact that others have feelings is something that we need to understand in this world. If you're never saying sorry, I think that gap will always be there. If I see people who aren't going to be aware of my feelings, I'm not going to be spending a lot of time with them."

"A real heartfelt apology is about being accountable for my actions," Lyness says. "It demonstrates self awareness and empathy. These are skills that improve the workplace because they improve relationships, which improves productivity and individual satisfaction."

"In the cut-throat atmosphere of some workplaces, people don't feel safe sharing their ideas or expertise (or even their staple removers)," says Jean Mendoza, PhD, information specialist at the Clearinghouse on Early Education & Parenting, University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana. "But in most workplaces, insofar as it feels safe, be willing to lend your expertise when asked. Or your stapler. Or a coin for the vending machine. Even small acts of generosity can affect the way people feel about coworkers."

"Sharing is something that kids enjoy when you share your time, not necessarily your money," Nicoli says. "I derive pleasure from sharing. I took an hour walk this morning with a next-door neighbor. We walk and talk and share experiences. I learn from her and she learns from me."

Clean Up After Yourself

"My students were given the task of sweeping the floor, doing the calendar, putting the cookies away. They had an assigned job regularly and it worked really well. That was always something I felt was really important," Nicoli says. "I think in any kind of living situation, if you don't start cleaning up your own mess, it makes it hard to keep a smile on your face."

"In the workplace, we have our neatniks and our messy people," Lyness says. "Beyond that, are you creating an environment that makes the work easier for everyone or are you generating more work for other people to have to clean up after you? Having a sense of self-awareness is important."

Balance Your Life

"Let's face it: when we're running on that hamster wheel 24/7, the world seems to be going much faster and it seems to be much harder to keep up," Lyness says. "We have to step back and ask ourselves what's really important. Many times when people finally do step off the treadmill for a moment and find time to play, walk, be with family, read a book or whatever your thing is, we make up that time in productivity later when we are fresher. And what are we teaching our children when we are stressed 24/7? Who will want to grow up?"

Last but not least, Nicoli recommends to keep on learning, no matter your age.

"The most important lesson is learning," Nicoli says. "Whether it's formal education or not. It helps you be a problem solver. If you don't ever think about how to be a problem solver, the problems build up all the time. I think lifetime learners are happier people."

Want a good place to start learning? Try Robert Fulghum's book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten (Ballantine Books, 1986).